Week 3 - Change Your Questions Workshop
Hi all - here is the recording for our week 3 content on The Choice Map, and a summary as well.
We meet again on Oct 27 for Week 4 - Making friends with our judger.
Read Chapters 4 and 5, and do the workbook content for Chapter 3.
Looking forward to seeing you all.
Recording:
Summary:
Dissertation Approval and Event Planning
Catherine shared that Colin received final approval for his dissertation titled "Pastor as Shepherd," which focuses on creating a program for care leaders to assist pastors in caring for church members. The group discussed the upcoming event on January 30th and 31st, where Claudette will be part of a panel of six people. They also reviewed the progress of the book and workbook, covering topics such as Martin Buber's "I-Thou" relationship, the difference between judges and learners, and the concept of payoffs and costs in personal growth.
Emotional Management in Conversations
The group discussed strategies for managing emotions during conversations, with Angie and Celine sharing their experiences of pausing before reacting impulsively. Catherine emphasized the importance of recognizing emotional responses and suggested reframing emotions as "energy" rather than negative states, while also sharing a technique of drinking water to control the urge to cry during emotional situations. The discussion concluded with Catherine sharing an example of how quickly unfounded assumptions and judgments can form during a simple social situation, highlighting the value of taking a step back and approaching situations with curiosity rather than jumping to conclusions.
Emotional Management Techniques Discussed
Michelle shared her progress in managing her anger and emotional responses, particularly during a car ride with William. She described using deep breathing techniques to calm herself and asked whether she should stay engaged in her frustration or disengage to focus on learning. Catherine suggested that different people have different questions that help them manage their emotions, and she shared her own question about what she is making a situation mean about herself. Michelle acknowledged that her tendency to interpret situations as malicious has been a lifelong issue, and she is now working on controlling her emotional responses to improve her quality of life.
Overcoming Judgmental Thinking Patterns
Catherine led a discussion on managing judgmental thinking patterns and introduced the concept of the "Choice Map," which helps individuals recognize when they are in a judgmental mindset and provides strategies to shift to a more curious and constructive approach. Participants shared personal insights and experiences, highlighting how judgment can lead to emotional distance and anxiety. Catherine emphasized the importance of self-awareness, questioning limiting beliefs, and seeking feedback to improve one's ability to engage in non-judgmental conversations. The group discussed homework assignments for the next session, including reading chapters 4 and 5 and completing related workbook exercises. Catherine also addressed technical issues regarding website access and promised to send detailed instructions via email.